WARNING very depressing ... But hoping that is just part of a cycle ;-) (as Mel put it) and I have hoping it is my turn to shine very very soon!
I have not written a blog in forever and I am not 100% this one is going to be published at this stage .
The last 6 months since my last blog have been HELL
I have had 2 more miscarriages and a lot of doctors with needles and probing
I have tried to continue with my Tri goals and training but with the last pregnancy I was on complete rest and couldn't even pick up little Miss for a hug, but I still ended up loosing that pregnancy at 11 and half weeks. Which added to the guilt and self loathing.
We have been told that OH father has got 2 months to live as he has brain cancer,
Little Miss got knock back from the school we have been trying to get her in for next year.
Then this week I have had another blow with my company downsizing and I been made redundant.
Currently on the Job hunt before my redundant package runs out
I have put on Weight and am up to 100kg from a 85kg,and I would say that would be chocolate!
I have my work cut out for me if I every want to get back to where i was or to even catch up to Jess. (hahah no way in Hell I can catch Mel LOL) But i have hope and I know that it can be done ...
.... I am waiting ... For everything to just fall into place and I can have a turn in the happy light
Ok that me putting it all out there !
ox Trace
Well done on being so brave and getting all this out there. I am so sorry for your losses. I know nothing can be said that will help make this time any easier or less painful so I won't try, just know that much love is coming your way.
ReplyDeleteGood luck on the job hunt and take care.
xoxox
I will keep you in my prayers and give you as much postive thoughts as I can
ReplyDelete